we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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