So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz