I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
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I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
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Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap