i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.