So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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