Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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