Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Porn is love you can see.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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