Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
