you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
