grandma shit on top of the toilet
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
