She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
