Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
