Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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