Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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