But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
