I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize