just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
