My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Come on in and take your pants off
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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