Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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