Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Come on in and take your pants off
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