they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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