If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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