saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
