wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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