I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
