That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
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I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
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Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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