My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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