So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
