I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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