I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
True strength comes from lack of pants
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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