I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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