In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I intend to get homeless drunk
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize