the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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