i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
