so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
