Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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