Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
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