i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
