So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
