wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
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you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
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I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
i think we sleep fucked last night...
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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