We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
