no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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