We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
