we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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