love makes seman taste better
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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