Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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