Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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