He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
