did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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