Got a toothbrush?
Sponge bath it is.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
The air taste purple.
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