"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize