**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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