six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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