weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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