His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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