the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
