Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
