I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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