Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
